Funky Seminar Girl

Let me tell you a story.  I met this girl at a long work seminar thing I was doing recently.  We spent the eight weeks flirting and squeezing each other when it would be "funny."  I'd say it was flirting but if a girl was doing this to me in a bar I'd have her in the back seat of my car 15 minutes later.

The people at the seminar knew I was married so I couldn't do anything with her while the seminar was going on.  Too many people think it's their duty to report on you and I'm too paranoid to risk it.

Sometimes I see a girl and I think to myself, "My lord, why can't I sleep with her?"  This is not the case with Funky Seminar Girl.  She's all tattooed and pierced up.  I got no problem with either but I have yet to find them attractive.  I guess my real thing is going for the good girl that I can corrupt.  This girl is already corrupted.  She's in an "open relationship" and doesn't care if someone else is married or whatever.  Sex is just sex to her.  She doesn't want to be seen as a home wrecker but if no one knows, she couldn't care less.

So what if she's not the most attractive girl in the world?  She's crazy and as we all know sex quality is directly proportional to craziness.

I'm ready to make my move on this girl.  We've been e-mailing ever since the seminar ended and talking about dirty stuff.  She's ready to go.  All I need is a time to get away from my wife.

Problem is, my wife is working at home for the next few weeks.  Are you kidding me?  Who timed this?

How am I supposed to sneak out and cheat on my wife when we're both working from home.  I can't just get up and go without an explanation.  She knows I have nowhere to go and nothing to do.

How do I hit this?  Can I pretend that I was unconscious in a ditch for an evening?